I Wear Women's Yoga Pants...

A late friend of mine, Jason Carriger (RIP) wrote a song called Yoga Pants. I've searched the internet and Jason left a pretty good YouTube and Soundcloud footprint but I can't find a performance of Yoga Pants. What caused me to think about my friend's song was the fact that the elastic they put in those old chicken skin long johns is just not what it used to be and though it may be illegal in some  states I purchased women's yoga pants to wear for my own convenience and warmth . 

A resolution I made and it was just before the New Year as I'm always always trying to get ahead of the game was that I was not going to be cold this winter. I also made a resolution that I was tired of those chicken skin underwear sliding half way down my butt. I could have been happy about that and said well the elastic is worn out and I'm just losing weight, they are not fitting correctly  but when I pointed out the decreased load that was my ass my doc busted that bubble by saying, "probably just lost muscle mass."

In this time of my life what with decreasing hormones I probably can't do anything about the loss of muscle mass. An increase in red meat eating and a furious weight lifting regime will only make me have a heart attack. What I did was abandon loose fitting long underwares in favor of women's yoga pants. 

Women's yoga pants are tight fitting and warm. I like them. I must add that I wear them under my outside pants. The are extra large size so when some one says, "pull up your big girl underpants" I actually can. Cathy has forbidden me to wear women's yoga pants as outside pants in public as she thinks I look pretty good in them and might get in some kind of trouble with unwanted attentions. I mentioned this time in my life and since it is that time any attentions is good attentions. 

Of course since I bought a warm garment the January weather has been mild this year and I've only worn it once. I have high hopes for wearing yoga pants though February, March and of course there is that bitch, April. 

Since there are machines that watch the internet for any dissent and I live in a state where who uses what bathroom is more of a concern than healthcare or education or songs about yoga pants they will probably be coming for me and my yoga pants anytime now.