Napoleon Crossing the Neches...

Napoleon sat on a great horse at the rivers edge. The horse would have been even greater had it's coat not been matted by a combination of bottom land mud, river sand and humid Texas heat. Napoleon, the great general who considered himself great was not feeling so great to be muddy to the knees already this morning.  

Napoleon was waiting. Waiting for his advance guard to kill another big black snake at the waters edge. Waiting for someway to make this expedition worth wild with a conquest, a country looted, law and order returned or a complicated political game with the local government. None of these things seemed to exist for this part of the world. The only thing to be attacked was the big black snakes that lay about every watery pothole or stream. They certainly were not a creature with which one counted as an ally or depended on to observe a treaty.

The snake was dispatched  and the troops began fording the river.Napoleon sat on his horse and decide to write a quick love note to Josephine back in France. The General wrote many love letters to his lady and even though she wrote few back it was something he enjoyed. As he wrote he began feeling a little of his greatness return. He happily hummed an old English rhyme, "If Your Dad Doesn't Have a Beard You've Got Two Mums" and rubbed the stubble growing from his chin. Maybe he would grow a bread. How would she like that and he concluded the letter with "see you in six months, won't shave."  

Napoleon handed the letter to his messenger who wheeled and rode in the direction which the troop column had come. The Great General and the Great Horse crossed the Neches and head away in the opposite direction

Months later a nervous messenger  stood before the beautiful Josephine. He handed over an envelope faded and smudged from the crudest world travels one could imagine. Josephine opened and read . The usual stuff from her General except the faint and faded last line which she could barely make out and left her very puzzled. 

"See you in six months, don't bathe." 

This story inspired by various songs and paintings about Napoleon crossing something.