Things That Go Bump in the Night...

I started using one of those cpap machines. I think I've mentioned before that I snore loudly and according to my brother I did so as a child and I don't mean to infer that I've slept with everyone in town but a lot of people know about the snoring. A few months ago on a doc visit he put two and two together and asked me if I snored. When I said yes he asked if I would do a sleep study. He's a nice guy, he askes if you will do things as opposed to when I was practicing as a physical therapist assistant and I would tell patients that if they did not do what I said they were going to die. Smart patients already knew on arrival that to get through the situation they were going to have to do hard things and people that either were not so smart or had a resistance to doing hard things died in piles. I told my doc I would do a sleep study.  

Sure enough the sleep study showed I had what they termed mild apnea. I mean I know people who play gigs with guitars mildly out of tune without ever addressing the issue but they went ahead and ordered my machine. Apparently anyone who takes a sleep study has mild apnea because those machines are in short supply and it takes a bit to get one. 

The deal is that if you use the machine three months for at least 4 hours a night my insurance, Medicare, pays the rent and then I own the machine. They know if I'm using it because I scan it with my phone ever so often. I have driven the machine across the country, flown it on an airplane, slept in the camper under the east Texas pines and used it while cooled by gentle ocean breezes to fulfill my obligation.      

When I check in person with the rental company or my doctor with an occasional issue they check the reports from the phone and say "oh, you are doing so good." Then they write a note in my chart that says "PATIENT TOLERATED TREATMENT WELL CONTIUE TO FOLLOW MD ORDERS AS MEDICALLY INDICATED" and Medicare says , "well good, here's the money." I'm not complaining about this because I did the same thing, got that money and retired early and comfortably. 

I am complaining that I have not consistently slept well for several months now. I look at the clock and do some quick tuba player math on when four hours is up and then if I awaken and I've done my time the mask comes off.  Usually it's by then what Chuck Berry called the "Wee Wee Hours" which for me is between 2 and 6 am. I often have trouble going back to sleep so I get on up. Cathy, who has her own sleep problem of not being able to go to sleep says that the machine does keep me from snoring. A gag probably would also and might actually be more comfortable and a possibly a little bit sexy.     

Finally to get around to what this is really about is while I am up during those wee wee hours I hear things bumping around on the hot tub deck right outside my bedroom door. I have heard it before usually in the cool months of the year it seems. It's a sound like running, jumping, or scampering. I went out with a flashlight as I have before and I didn't catch anything in the act. Last night after a check I came back in and the noise started again after 5 minutes. I slipped out quietly, stood in the dark waiting and eventually flicked on the light but still no sighting of the perp. 

So what is it? Possum? there have been some sightings lately. Coon? Occasionally I see one out here. Rats? There is evidence that the cat is controlling this population. Cats? He does have friends. Aliens? I'm not saying it's aliens but it could be. 

So I don't know what goes bump in the night out on my deck. If I stay awake enough maybe I'll see it. The doc did ask if I thought the machine was helping me, making a difference. I am not sure at this time. I guess helping could be helping to catch a critter of some kind.

There is a show business story about the great singer song writer Roger Miller. When a band member was asked how long Roger had been awake he replied "I don't know, I've only been in the band a year."  

When I retired I thought about how life would be if I just slept when tired and got up when awake. Since I babysit grand kids who take an afternoon nap I usually join them so I guess I am kind of doing that.  

 

The Zamora Spirit Animal...

There was a noise it the garage last night. It was the Zamora Spirit Animal. It usually shows up at just the right time when a spirit animal is needed and I guess it was showing up to make a welfare check on Luca and Ezra who were fast asleep during this appearance. 

There is a fine folklore to these Spirit Animal appearances. For some reason many of them happen during the Christmas season when you have a house full of guests and then suddenly a possum comes to be in the house amongst them and then the yearly "Christmas Possum" tradition and prophecy is filled. 

Lately Miguel often is visited by a possum he calls "Fathead."  Fathead can be found guruing around the cat food bowl. While he's munching on a diet higher in proteins than most of 7 billion people living in the world right now he demonstrates sage wisdoms, patience with the cats who own the bowls and throws the I Ching to answer the eternal burning questions of life.  

The eternal questions this Spirit Animal proposed on this visit were about the same as Brother Man might ask, "Where's Hippy?" or Parker who wants to know if Ezra is here. It also asked like some people do, "when is the next big fish fry?"  

  

 

 

What Do They Tell Their Children?...

They kind of look like something you might see at Christmas. Brightly colored, a something you might point out to a child and say look, look. They are all around the woods, neon energy drink cans you would think that with the promises some of these drinks make of increased pep and cognition that people would think to dispose of them properly. They don't and that aint all that's out there. I would hate to explain to a child why I was dumping in the woods. 

So what does a person who dumps in the woods tell their children? What do they tell them about anything? What do the tell them about God, relationships, family, nature, education and so on? I would think that somewhere in the discussion of these topics which are pillars of our world as we know it that the topic of throwing stuff in the woods would eventually come up.  

I know from my own experience that sooner or later on a family picnic a child throws a trash item on the ground because at that time they do not know what to do with it. That's your time to work on all those items listed in the last paragraph. Take your pick. You should be able to work them all in. 

Here's a nice spread, a bird bath base and a coffee maker laid in the dappled sunlight. Now I have trash pick up even though I'm outside the city there are services are available for a fee. Recycle can be hauled to the city of Lufkin or about 4 miles down the road from me my garbage service has recycle available. Five bucks lets you dump a pick up truck load at the city dump. I will admit some things are a bit hard to get rid of such as non working appliances so you need to ask yourself before you dump, "am I trying hard enough?" 

Hi-Fi Stereo? Isn't that an oxymoron? Is there such a thing? Are your ears educated enough to tell the difference? I'm afraid what a future generation will even think about us when they find this.    

Ok and the grand finale. The king's throne. Makes you wonder where he is holding court these days. I can imagine a child asking, "daddy, what did you do with the toilet?" Got your explanation ready? 

When cool fall and spring days come I walk for exercise on a sand road near my house. It's where I saw all these items. It's private land and I have no idea who the owners are.  

I must add a disclaimer. After a fishing trip, when I have cleaned the catch I dump the carcasses in this area. For any amount under 50 carcasses it takes the East Texas Hygiene Committee, a loose federation of racoons, possums, foxes, skunks, coyotes, buzzards, fire ants and possibility a Sasquatch or two about 24 hours to make sure I have left no trace. If it's over 50 it might take about 36 hours. I know because I go and check the federation is holding up it's end of the deal. If they don't I'll think of something else.. 

Maybe someone will take a child and say "let's se if that toilet has decomposed yet."      

 

Wallace Spirit Animal...

If you follow here you know all those stories about how the Christmas possum comes each year to save the holiday for everyone. Some complex hero mythology linking marsupial behavioral characteristics and the birth of Jesus Christ could be drawn but in the same way folks have been surprised that Willie Nelson is a Democrat that comparison could be a dress blowing up event in some circles. We will leave it be. Other that we stated it so maybe it is on the table, I don't really know. 

I do know that we have spirit animals. You might think that my spirit animal is the catfish. I seem to draw them to me. I don't think that's what an SP is though. Too common to be easily called upon is not the way to go. The SP shows up looks you in the eye and you start to do things differently.

This SP made an appearance as we sat on the deck overlooking the beach on a recent visit. He brushed under Cathy's lawn chair and her initial impulse was the reach down in the dark and pet what she thought was an ally cat stopping by for a visit.   

Like I say, after an encounter with a spirit animal, things are different. 

I hope your SP looks you in the face today. 

You Know That Moment...

We all have our moments. You know how it was when you think about where you were when JFK was assassinated. You remember when you heard that Santa was real. You will never forget when Trump lead that Muslim prayer call from the top of the Washington Monument, oh wait a minute maybe that was Obama. You know what I mean, those special moments.

 

Here's a special moment. It's the one where Ezra heard about his possum hunting ancestors. A long tradition. I think we have photos of Morgan in this hat. You put on the hat, you sit in Pop Pop's lap and he tells you about the long journey your ancestors made from first landing on these shores, hunting possum just to survive and pooping in the woods to well, hunting possum and pooping in  the woods like we still do today sometimes. 

 

If you want to know the real truth possum is not that good but then neither are most chain restaurants. We do have the tradition you may have read about on these pages of the Christmas possum where of course no possums are hurt but I'll let Ezra's daddy teach him that.

 

I guess you might say we just like to talk about possum.

Christmas is Saved...

I don't know about ya'll but we celebrate the 12 days of Christmas around here. Something that really helps get the Christmas Spirit going is a capture of the Christmas Possum. Note that the words Christmas and spirit are often combined. Spirit has lots of meanings and other than an unpleasant airline flight we choose to have it mean consciousness or personality in this context. You have to be conscious where there be possums and it takes a certain personality to bring one to Christmas. 

If you are not familiar you may have to search the blog to know more about possum Christmas It's like anything else we do. It's fun, it's a spectacle and we do it over and over again. Miguel and Mary have been great to provide the Christmas possum each year and this year Miguel steps up with this fine, healthy specimen. . . 

Possums are really beneficial animals. In an urban environment to which they adapt well, this one was captured just off South First Street mere blocks from downtown, they perform a grounds keeping role of eating snakes, rodents, bugs and carrion.  They will also eat your pet food but why have pets when you can have possums? As far as the snake eating goes ( I have always wanted to say that in a blog post (snake eater) they are immune to snake venom except for coral snakes and the body temp is too low to incubate rabies.  Thanks again to wikipedia for all these facts. 

In a culture where people put clothes on their dogs you should not be surprised that there is a National Possum Organization. 

As you see Miguel is taking good care of this possum. He's got a food bowl, and some weights to work out and live a healthful life. I now need to go check outside. The Christmas possum has occasionally ended up in my garage. Don't worry Miguel. studies show that if you relocate an urban possum to the wild another one will soon move into his place.   

  

Another Christmas Possum...

The first Christmas possum, as you saw in a previous posting was secured just in time for everyone's holiday arrival. Christmas saved. That's what we think around here. Of course you may think something different and that's ok as long as you don't make me try to think that also. In fact our Christmas was so good and blessed and happy there was a second Christmas possum.

Now contrary to what you think these possums are not swimming in our belly. They are catch and release only. Mary and Miguel are the champion possum catchers. Seems they have some sort of trap that you put a little tuna fish in. I know tuna fish would be protein to fight over with automatic weapons in some parts of the world but like I said, it was a blessed Christmas and a possum will go right in the trap for a bite of tuna. They also have fertile trapping grounds. It's Miguel's parent's house. I don't know why there are so many possums readily available in that neighborhood of tidy early 1960s brick homes. They are mere blocks, walking distance from the hub of downtown Lufkin. Yes sir these are town possums. Maybe we are on the verge of discovering a North Korean invasion plan (they are everywhere) or at least the idea of a plot for a stalled science fiction novel or a new Christmas Story. .In any event the possums for two years in a row have been brought to my cozy comfortable country home for release.

Mary with possum. Nothing makes a girl look prettier than standing next to a possum. 

Peter and Katie squat before the possum in great reverence. Peter had never examined a possum up close. He's Canadian and I know it's the great north woods but he is not that kind of Canadian and  this is Texas and I am not wearing a six shooter on my hip because I am not that kind of Texan even if other people are soon to be.   

Somebody may have to go in after the possum. When they do they will perform "The Interview." Could not resist that one. 

And he is off and running. Katie crosses arms, thinks, "he could run faster, it is Christmas after all. 

The possum has set a course dead east. 

The excitement is over. Katie and Peter watch the possum disappear into the distance. Juan missed it. Mary sets out to catch the next one which by second hand reports was successfully released but tried to go up the steps into my house.  I may be responsible for next year's possum since we are increasing the possum population in my neighbor hood. 

On final reflection it might be some significance the possum headed east. North Korea, Hermann Hesse, war, time, space and a secret league of some sort seem to be topics we could use to explain all these happenings and address who is going to read all this. 

Let us not read. Let us listen to the Tarbox Ramblers and "A Fix Back East."